"So how much time will it take before these ant colonies in my roof will disappear?" I ask the pest-control guy.
"Well, ya have to know the way these little guys think. Studies have shown that ants are highly intelligent and can evade termination for long periods of time. In fact there was a study in the University of Michigan...or was it Wisconsin? No, no I think it was published in Ant World Monthly, I could get you a copy of it if you'd like, that described the mating habits of the New Guinea spotted wood ant, and you know ma'am, when you're an expert like me......
Meanwhile I'm standing at my front door with a plastic grin on my face, nodding every two seconds pretending to care and thinking, "Will you just do your job and leave?!"
It's really interesting being on the opposite side of the conversation when you're the one used to dishing out the advice and answering the questions. The worst thing is to imagine that everyone else wants to hear ourselves talk, and that we already know what they want to hear even if they didn't ask. For those of you out there who spend a lot of time counseling in your churches or schools, beware of the plastic grin, the constantly nodding head, the glazed look in the eyes - you're boring the pants off of them, I guarantee. Listen first, and think hard about what comes out of your mouth, and make sure it's what they're ready and need to hear.
And guess what? The ants magically disappeared, and I still haven't read a single journal on them. Amazing.