Monday, June 28, 2010

A Healthy Pain

What freedom! To finally come clean and confess a hidden sin/mistake/wrong that was committed!  But the process that leads to it can be so twisted and convoluted, for the one who is looking for a pain-free shortcut.  Instead of a shortcut, they find a long agonizing journey of guilt and oppression that can take years, eating away at their spirit, their body, their mental abilities, their motivation to live. As Proverbs says, bitterness rots the bones...

Why do you suppose that when it's time to do right and expose the darkness of our past, this simple act of speech becomes unbearably frightening?  Imaginations course through our minds:  they'll never understand, you'll become a freak, an outcast, a loser, you'll be castigated and ostracized, and you'll never, ever be looked upon with favor by anyone. ANYONE.  So we bear the hidden guilt and are unaware that the spirit behind that guilt is slowly eating away at our faith and our resolve to follow God.  We become a slave of that dark secret, a protector, as if it were a great treasure.

But the fear of exposing our whole life to the light and letting God and others see the ugliness, is in actuality very short-lived and highly overrated.  Once it's done, it's done, and the healing can begin. Sure you have to talk about it a bit more at times. clarify why you did what you did to those you offended, apologize as many times as it takes, change your habits and your behavior to prove to those whose trust you have broken that you are serious about your change, and hide nothing ever again.  The only real pain involved is felt by your ego, your selfish pride.  A healthy pain, long overdue.

But the freedom, the FREEDOM of honesty and openness of heart between God and you, and all others who have been wronged, is such a reward in itself.  But that's not all that happens.  God can finally begin answering that backlog of your many prayers, because the connection between you and He is clear. The spiritual ulcer that burned holes into your conscience and your soul, is wiped away in one day.

Funny how one of the most powerful life-changing verbs is seen as a cartoon joke - you know, the old crazy street preacher wearing a sign reading: Repent!  But for the few and the courageous who have the guts to actually do it, the joke is turned against all the evil that once dragged them through the mud, and now is under their feet.  Repent! So who's laughing now?


Tania said...

[[Tania- Queens, NY]]

I think the hardest part about coming clean is that people will look at you differently and most times just lose your complete trust. Lots of it happens inside the church itself. Instead of other accepting your apology, they look down upon you and turn the other way when they see you coming. it's painful and it hurts. But that's what happens when we think about others more than we think about God. It is God that can free us and grant us life, not those people around us. It is God whom we must seek to please. and it is us who will benefit from leaving everything behind to follow the Creator.

Debora Anjos said...

It is a liberating act indeed. If we don't have anything to hide, we can be true to ourselves and to others.

Once I stopped being scared of and nonchalant about repentance, it became much easier to recognize my DAILY faults and to work on getting rid of them...

Divya said...

Truly, our ego is the one crying out. However, we have nothing to loose. This life will pass, and we are absolutely nothing without God. Our flesh, our pride, the despicable pride is what holds us back.

When we change, it is also a testimony. Imagine all the people that are going through the same and thinking that not even God will love and forgive them. If we open up, not only will God be pleased, but many people will finally realize that it is not the end for them.

suLmaaa said...

I can really relate to this Mrs. Evelyn. I think for over a year I let the devil constantly accuse me of somethings I did in the past. I asked God for forgiveness but hadn't forgiven my self.

I remember one time in a service the Holy Spirit spoke to me. I decided I needed to confess to someone and be completely honest in order to finally be free.

It was one of the hardest things I had to do. I felt really guilty, especially having to confess this to someone who I thought later on would look at me with bad eyes.

But, after that I felt free! What helped me was letting go of any pride I had and just being straight forward because I got tired of feeling that way.

I'll never forget that day, when I repented not only with words, but with an action! That day I had a conviction of God's forgiveness and also my own! :]

Kenia Rivas said...

Hello Mrs.Evelyn,

Confessing to a wrong done in the past may seem like one of the hardest things to do, at times we may even feel that it may not be as necessary as we think. But it is, only by repenting and coming clean before the ones we hurt and God, will be really be able to be free and grow spiritually. Thank you for this message.

Kenia Rivas

Cindy Flores_Manila said...

everything will be revealed in the light. it takes a courage by faith to be exposed in the light and trust God that God is going to cleanse those dirts that comes from wrong doing.

related task for this was really not easy. we have to drop the fear and pride. but take all the humbleness to the right one.

God bless

Cindy from Manila

Ana Villatoro said...

Confessing our sins is really difficult , but is the only way to be free, to have peace, the peace that comes from God.

Liza said...

Hi Mrs. Evelyn!

Repenting is to feel such regret for the past things we did. It was very hard but this is the way God will please us and this is also a way for us to grow more Spiritually speaking.

Thanks for this post!

Betty said...

I now understand the real meaning of freedom in this very interesting way…It’s so true that when we are hiding something we are never free. It’s like everytime we try to pray or ask God something, the devil is on the other side accusing us. The moment that we decide to confess or forgive someone it feels like you took a heavy load from your shoulders. It’s important that we expose the devil because he always uses pride to hide in people’s lives.

Betty Gapare
Croydon, UK

Raquel Parras said...

The best thing that can happen us is to have peace, to have clean our conscience, and have a clean connection with God, without owing anything to anyone, thank you ...***

missleon said...

It can be very difficult to confess our mistakes, because, as you mentioned we are often worried about what people are going to think of us and/or say about us. I agree, this "backlash that we experience is very short lived, but not only that. The confession of our sins and mistakes is very effective because others see us when we change and they have a past to compare our present with, which only shows others that indeed God lives because He has transformed us!

Triana ! said...

Wow.. when a person has nothing to hide and has no lie.. its even better because the person is honest and clean and you dont have to hide or be anyone else but you.

wow this is so strong and eye opener.