Monday, June 28, 2010
A Healthy Pain
Why do you suppose that when it's time to do right and expose the darkness of our past, this simple act of speech becomes unbearably frightening? Imaginations course through our minds: they'll never understand, you'll become a freak, an outcast, a loser, you'll be castigated and ostracized, and you'll never, ever be looked upon with favor by anyone. ANYONE. So we bear the hidden guilt and are unaware that the spirit behind that guilt is slowly eating away at our faith and our resolve to follow God. We become a slave of that dark secret, a protector, as if it were a great treasure.
But the fear of exposing our whole life to the light and letting God and others see the ugliness, is in actuality very short-lived and highly overrated. Once it's done, it's done, and the healing can begin. Sure you have to talk about it a bit more at times. clarify why you did what you did to those you offended, apologize as many times as it takes, change your habits and your behavior to prove to those whose trust you have broken that you are serious about your change, and hide nothing ever again. The only real pain involved is felt by your ego, your selfish pride. A healthy pain, long overdue.
But the freedom, the FREEDOM of honesty and openness of heart between God and you, and all others who have been wronged, is such a reward in itself. But that's not all that happens. God can finally begin answering that backlog of your many prayers, because the connection between you and He is clear. The spiritual ulcer that burned holes into your conscience and your soul, is wiped away in one day.
Funny how one of the most powerful life-changing verbs is seen as a cartoon joke - you know, the old crazy street preacher wearing a sign reading: Repent! But for the few and the courageous who have the guts to actually do it, the joke is turned against all the evil that once dragged them through the mud, and now is under their feet. Repent! So who's laughing now?