Women's Breakfast, July 27: Ruth

This morning's lesson was a joy to do, hope you enjoy listening to it!

https://soundcloud.com/ehigginbotham/ruth-7-27-13

Women's Study, audio recording: Mary

Every Saturday I'll be posting up the most recent study on women in the Bible from our weekly Women's Breakfast held at the Succeed in Life Center on Houston's Southwest Freeway.  This week we started off with Mary, and we'll continue on for the weeks to come with studies of women from both the Old and New Testaments.  Ladies of Houston and San Antonio, thanks for coming!  There's more inspiration and fun to come  (not to mention the coffee and bagels!!)

Below is the link to the audio recording.  Enjoy!

Women's Breakfast, July 20: Mary

Come on God, that's not what I would do!

“That’s so unfair!” I thought to myself as my 6th grade Sunday-school teacher taught us the long version of the story of God’s people who had suffered 400 years in slavery, and were only rescued after they cried out loudly.  Not only that, but their rescue came in the form of Moses who didn’t even want to go in the first place, who had to spend days and days arguing back and forth with Pharaoh and smiting the land with 10 plagues.  Then, they had to march for miles only to go through the trauma of being trapped between the Red Sea and a furiously advancing Egyptian army.  As if they had to march on and on through the desert, and of course they got impatient when Moses disappeared up Mt. Sinai for 40 days, wouldn’t you?  They shouldn’t have made that golden calf to worship, but did God really have to get so mad?

They finally they get to the promised land after all that walking and you’d think that God would be a little bit merciful and just hand it over with all the milk and honey flowing freely.  But no, they get to the Jordan River, and all these other nations are just having a good ol’ time in THEIR promised land, and after ALL those poor Israelites have been through! And then God expects them to fight?   Come on…

I would have fit in perfectly with all the grumblers and complainers among the Hebrew slaves.  “If I was God…” so went my childish imaginations, “I would just scoop them all up and carefully plop them down in the promised land with lots of rich farmland and all the things they would need.”  Those poor, poor, suffering Hebrew slaves.

But isn’t this childish thinking the way that we often view God?  The idea that the the whole ordeal of the Exodus was actually good for His people, is something we don’t like to think about when we’re going through our own Exodus.  We want pity, we want hand-outs, and we want it now.  But God is not a God of pity, but a God of compassion.

We’ve been talking lately in church about God as our Father, that there are some very distinctly male characteristics about God that we need to recognize.

• He teaches us through experience, and lets us get a little scraped up by some hard knocks.
• He always believes in us and is rooting for us to win
• Though He knows we can feel like we’re in a scary place, He always encircles us with His protection, whether we feel it or not.
• Getting the “big blessing” at the end of the trial, is not as important as the lesson of trust we learn in the process. 
• He knows that once we get the “big blessing,” we’ll have much more maturity, humility and gratitude towards Him so that the blessing will be enjoyed and treasured far more than if it had been just handed to us
• God never puts us through a test and then forgets about us when it’s over.  We are always guaranteed the reward He chooses specifically for us.
• God doesn’t reward whiners
• God doesn’t answer out of pity
• God answers when faith and trust are acted out
• If we fail, we always have the chance to try again, and again, and again

God’s rewards are HUGE compared to the little we are able to give
If we go all the way with Him, He goes all the way with us

Thank goodness we have a much wiser God than our selfish, limited little minds imagine.  For people who believe in free hand-outs and demand pity, God seems cold and uncaring.  But for those who are willing to learn and be led, to humble themselves, trust, and obey, He is the most generous and loving Father beyond our wildest dreams.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.  Ephesians 3:17-21

*** On a side note, I have noticed how our society enjoys degrading men in the media, making them look like buffoons and mindless animals.  Interesting how there seems to be a trend to distance people from understanding the value of male character qualities and mindsets, which is very much a part of who God is.  The more we want a "mommy" God, the less we'll understand our Father God.  Take a look at this link here, sent to me by a friend, to see some of what I'm referring to.

We are works in progress

I so enjoyed this most recent blog post of my husband's on his daily devotional called 365 Passages, I had to repost it here. It's powerful!

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.   (Philippians l:3-6 — New King James Version)

In these four verses Paul uses words like “thank”, “joy”, “fellowship”, “confident”, “good work”, and “complete”. These are not the words of a depressed, negative, pessimistic man. The Philippian church was not perfect, no group of people ever is, but he speaks about them in a positive, confident way because he is filled with the Holy Spirit and lives by faith. Whenever we don’t have those two things, it’s virtually impossible to look at the world in a positive way.

Paul wrote these confident words from prison, and when we look at all four chapters of the book of Philippians we will find “joy” mentioned five times, and “rejoice” mentioned nine. These are themes of Paul’s writings, and show how a true Christian doesn’t have to be in a good place in order to be happy and joyful. Our joy doesn’t come from our surroundings or possessions, or from people’s opinion of us. Our joy comes from the fact that we belong to God and He is our partner in life — fellowship, in the passage above, could equally be translated partnership. Those who believe are in a partnership with each other, and with God, so how could we ever fail?

Paul is also confident. He could easily give in to doubt and fear, and to the many thoughts — that the devil must have been sending his way — of why things would not work out for him and the church. And yet he decided to be confident! He was confident that God would complete the work that He had begun in them. He saw life as a race, or as a construction project. He knew people had not yet arrived at perfection, but he was sure that God’s work in them would one day be complete.

Do you have the same spirit as Paul? I doubt that your situation is worse than his, and yet maybe he had more confidence and joy than you do. If this is the case… if you lack joy and confidence… if you are unsure of whether God will complete His work in you… you need to change right away. Choose to trust in Him. Believe in what He’s promised hook, line, and sinker. No sitting on the fence. Go all the way with God.

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Proof that small changes in our behavior can make big differences

Just came across this article about how people who use smaller devices (iPods, iPhones, nano-istybitsy thingamabobs) end up displaying more passive and insecure behavior than those who use bigger, larger screened devices in comparison.  The bigger the device, the more assertive and confident the behavior of the person right after they use it.  The smaller the device, the more intimidated and unsure of themselves they are... interesting, isn't it?

They believe that the posture that a person has to use to hunch over a smaller screen, tapping tiny keys with delicate finger monitions, correlates to the mindset that they take on about themselves and about the world around them.  Their posture sends messages to their brain that they are insignificant and withdrawn, even if they normally wouldn't characterize themselves as such.  On the other hand, those who work on larger, more impressive looking devices, with wide screens that cause them to sit up straight and take in clearer visuals, messages are sent to their brains that they are important, smart, and have opinions that matter.

Other studies about facial expressions have proven this as well.  Paul Ekman is a psychologist who pioneered the study of facial expressions relating to emotions.  His researchers discovered that just making certain expressions caused them to feel emotions that had no relation to the situation they were in.  Contracting certain muscles to form various forms of frowns throughout the day, created a strong sense of sadness and depression, and likewise, using muscles to examine the different forms of physical smiles, created a great sense of happiness for no other reason than the fact that they were just smiling all day!

This is something I have seen repeatedly when it comes to faith.  Those who choose to proclaim and stand up for the promises of God, those who fully expect them to come true, take on physical changes in their behavior, that bolster that faith and confidence.  They proclaim that "God will answer me, no matter how I feel," and stand straight with their shoulders back, to convey determination.  Their hearts may not feel very determined, their emotions may want to cry and panic, but they choose to act and behave according to their faith - not their feelings.  Quickly their emotions fall in line, and their behavior the rest of the day also falls in line.  They are not intimidated by threatening clouds or negative words, but are confident to act in faith until the answer of God comes through.  They find they're not scared of risks, and that they enjoy being "on the edge" when everyone else around them is falling apart with fear.  And because of their confidence, (think Jacob having the audacity to wrestle with God) they are blessed.

They're not being fake - as some people would want to accuse them of being - they are choosing to be bold.  Rather than wait for the feeling of boldness to overcome them, they just decide they ARE.  Like Ekman's research team who chose to smile just for the sake of the study and found themselves full of joy at the end of the day, we have an obligation to God to choose bold faith, every day, and let God fill in the appropriate emotions later.

What kind of behavior will you choose to use in the month to come?  It could make all the difference in the world!



A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. Proverbs 15:30

Ask for more than you deserve

A relationship expert, Alison Armstrong, mentioned on a recent radio show that women have a tendency to only ask for what they feel they deserve, not what they need.  They make a mental assessment of all the good they have done, and subtract all the mistakes and failures, and end up with what they imagine they deserve.  I would venture to suggest that they also subtract all the negative messages they have been fed by dysfunctional families, failures and unhappy relationships, which usually brings them pretty close to rock bottom when it comes to their perception of what they deserve in life.

Their standards of what is tolerable, acceptable, even “good” can fall so low, that they never do see their true needs met.  They tolerate loveless marriages, dead-end jobs, uncommitted boyfriends, unhealthy eating habits, disorderly households, foul language, rebellious children, etc., etc…

When it comes to insisting on what we need, many women feel guilty, almost ashamed to think that they have any right to have such high expectations.  But a need is a need.  Just like food, air, water, clothing and shelter are basic physical needs, there are many more needs that God wants us to have fulfilled, that we can foolishly believe are too much to ask for.

Let’s use the example of our basic need for a loving, happy home.  God says in Psalm 68:6, “God sets the lonely in families.”  Loneliness and lack of affection plagues so many, not just single, but married women as well.  Many do pray, do believe in God, and do try to be faithful to Him.  They could easily say, “This verse sounds nice, but must be for others who deserve it more than me.”

Right there, that deserve vs. need dilemma kicks in “I don’t deserve it, and obviously God thinks I don’t deserve it either, otherwise He would have fixed it a long time ago.”  And in an instant, her defeatist attitude blocks her her faith and from asking for what she needs.

“Asking for,” in God’s dictionary, can come in many, many forms. It could be crying out to Him loudly, or repeatedly persisting until the “unjust judge” responds, getting up in the early watches of the night to seek His face, lamenting, repenting and mourning, making a vow to Him, fasting from food, writing out a request, sacrificing possessions, standing firm in faith despite the circumstances…

In other words, God’s idea of asking is very active, and very determined.  It also presupposes that as we ask, we also listen.  God frequently responds to our requests with His own requests.  There are actions and choices that He requires of us, in order to prepare us to receive the blessings that we so greatly need.  As we obey, we open doors to receive even more than our needs.

Imagine a woman pleading for God to grant her a loving husband.  But her heart is full of bitterness towards her exes, and grudges against neighbors and coworkers.  If she is like the persistent widow and continuously comes to God with her request, she will be doing the right thing.  But part of God’s answer is to request a sacrifice from her:  Forgive them, love your enemies, be cleansed.  She has the choice to obey, or to rebel against His direction.  If she sacrifices her pride and forgives, she not only has pleased God, she has cast out an evil presence from inside of herself.  Her obedience and sacrifice, becomes an integral part of her request, proof of her faith, and gives weight to her insistence that her needs be met.  God may have more requests of her than that, but not because He wants drag out the process of blessing her just to make her suffer, He is strengthening her and fulfilling other needs as well.

If we got what we deserved, we wouldn't even be alive today.  God is in the business of grace, mercy, forgiveness, pardon - basically NOT giving us what we deserve.  God wants us to fulfill our needs, but if we are like the typical churchgoer who asks once in a while and then gives up with no action, no sacrifice, and no attentiveness to God’s requests, we can slip into the rut of believing that we never deserved it anyway.  

Our 30th anniversary prayer for you!

Today's our 30th wedding anniversary, and I know it sounds cliche, but it really feels like yesterday.  On Wednesday the 19th, we'll be making a special prayer of blessing for the relationships and love lives of both marrieds and singles.  Finding a good spouse is all about letting God lead you from the beginning.  Then making that marriage work is all about surrendering your selfishness and letting God mold you through the love of your life, to become a better, stronger and more usable servant in His Kingdom.

Dave always teaches in our Succeed in Marriage Course, that getting married is going back to school.  If you think you already know everything, don't get married.  If you're ready to be humbled, stretched, and forced to change, then you will find so much more joy and delight in your life through a good and God-based marriage.  

Enjoy our little video!  (Sorry, for some reason videos don't appear for those who use their phones to read this blog, you'll need a computer to see it...)