Bozos and the Human Condition

I am on the brink of taking my washing machine repairman to court. I really don't want to have to do that, but if it's the only way to fix the damage he did to my property, then I'll do it. By the way if anyone needs repairs, DON'T use the Appliance Service Company run by Josh Cohen in Houston, Texas! They may fix your machines, but if they do anything wrong they'll squirm out of taking responsibility. I know, i've been trying to get them to keep their promise to fix their mess since January.

The problem isn't that they deny that they destroyed a patch of the concrete on my back porch, or that they are not polite to me over the phone and call me "Ma'am" and say their boss will get right back to me as soon as he's available. They've apologized, they've vowed that they have a good reputation for righting any wrongs they've done. They even sent the repairman Jason, back to look at what he'd done and promise to be back the next week to clean it up (it can't be cleaned, it has to be repaired). They're pleasant, courteous, and they lie through their teeth. Josh has only spoken to me once - though I've left literally dozens of messages for him over the last three months. Jason has never appeared to clean up the mess as he promised, breaking 3 different appointments that he had made. I've gone to the trouble of providing a very reasonable estimate from another company to fix the problem, and guess what? Just ten minutes ago I talked to one of the guys who answered the phone who told me, "Yeah, Josh is kinda busy right now, but he'll get right back to you as soon as possible." Translation-"Yeah, right lady, bug off, you ain't getting any money out of us!"

So now I'm in the uncomfortable place of having to file a legal complaint against these bozos and I don't like it one bit, but I like the bright six foot wide acid stain on my concrete even less. So unless the fear of God and hellfire and brimstone doesn't overtake Mr. Cohen to have a change of heart and pay me what is due (which I heartily pray for every day), I will have to see them in front of a judge in the county courthouse.

And now for the lesson of the day: We have all committed the sin of being a bozo - admit it, it's true. There have been too many times that we didn't want to own up to our mistakes, when we wouldn't make restoration for the harm we did to other people. If there was an easy way out of a problem, we'd take it, if we could just ignore it in the hopes that it would go away, we would. Human nature always wants a free ride, and when we can get it, we sigh in relief that we weren't caught. But when we are the ones who are harmed, we can be the most self righteous, condemning people on earth. I don't want to be either, because as much as I can't stand irresponsible people, I can neither stand people who look down their noses in superiority. So from one self-confessed (former) bozo to another: Josh Cohen, you're getting sued!

Who's the April Fool?

In my daily musings and observations, I run across a lot of conversations, bits of news and snatches of people's reactions - including my own, that show that we as a species are a ridiculous bunch of fools when it all comes down to it. It's not because we're not intelligent, it's not that we have no common sense, it's just that we so frequently go without using either.

Case in point: We live in this amazingly complex world where even the tiniest cell of a microscopic organism functions like a well organized kingdom, where the most common weed has a beauty of its own, and where new species are being discovered much to the surprise of scientists who thought they had it all figured out, and yet people still go around acting as if God is a crutch invented for weak people to lean on. Somehow it just so happens that the Earth spins on its axis at exactly the right distance from our sun with an atmosphere the perfect combination of oxygen, water and other elements to sustain life, and no other planet within millions of light-years away has been found that can do the same. Yeah, I guess they're right, no evidence to support the God theory...

And what about those of us who say we do believe in God? How about Mrs. C, a sweet church going lady who says she can't understand why God doesn't answer her prayers, had an opportunity to pull her small business way out of debt just recently. She prayed, we prayed, and God answered in the form of a client willing to invest with hard cash. But in the middle of the transaction, a glitch came up. A very annoying glitch, but one that could have been sorted out with a bit of determination and faith. But what did she do? She got angry with God and gave up, blaming Him the whole way. The investor flew back home on his private jet, leaving her just as much in debt as before.

The worst thing is that most people would look at this picture and blame God as well. Why couldn't He just make it go smoothly? Why did He let her down? Doesn't He care how much she needs this money? Our "common sense" when it comes to God can be so childish. Why don't we ask instead, "Why did she give up and not believe that God would make it go smoothly? Why did she let God and herself down? Doesn't she know how much God cares about her needs?" Sometimes the right questions and the right answers are right there, but we are just too foolish and self-centered to see them. The ones that see the miracles are the ones that get it, that fight for it, that don't let discouragement get in the way. Which is why so few people have ever seen a miracle, but then again, maybe miracles are just a crutch for weak people.

Get Mad - It's Good for You!

There are plenty of things going on in this world that should make us furious. From the young girls that are being sold into the sex trade by their own mothers in Iraq, (a 14 year old virgin can bring in over $30,000) and the rape victims in India who are stoned to death because they dishonored their family name, to the children who come to my church who have to endure the humiliation and abuse of drug addicted parents...The runaway teenage girl who ran straight into the arms of the boy in the youth group who was trying to straighten up his life and instead made her pregnant. It makes you want to shake some sense into people, doesn't it? But the most maddening thing is that too many people who claim to believe in God have come to the point where they shrug their shoulders and say, "Well, what else can we do?"

One of the best and most effective strategies of hell, is to make us all complacent. To stop getting angry and to just let things go. We may be shocked, wag our heads in disagreement and wish for the days when life was more innocent, but when all is said and done, the standards that we say we hold to, we can so easily let slide into the sewer.

I listened to Bristol Palin, the daughter of evangelical Christian Gov. Sarah Palin, giving what was supposed to be her heartfelt sentiments on teenage pregnancy in an interview on the news. "I'd love to [be] an advocate to prevent teen pregnancy because it's not, like, a situation that you would want to strive for, I guess," Bristol said. She told the interviewer that abstaining from sex before marriage is the best, "but not realistic at all." Thanks Bristol. Young women all over the country are so inspired - I guess.

Everything in her interview revolved around how tough things are on her: having to scale back on her teenage activities, stay awake late at night, and have to care for someone else. But what about the huge disservice she has done to this child, to have to grow up in a home without a mother and father who are in a committed, adult, marriage relationship? What about the damage done to the attitudes of young girls who hear her pathetic attempt to discourage teenage pregnancy with her confession that it's just unrealistic? If you're that wimpy about it, just stay home and say nothing - please!

Complacency. Claiming to believe in a right and wrong, but when it gets too tough to handle, just shrug your shoulders and do nothing. Don't fight, don't revolt, don't insist that life could be better. Just give up, it's so much easier.

Just writing this makes me mad, and that is a really good thing! If complacency is a strategy of hell, then a full-frontal spiritual attack is the only choice we have. Our prayers of spiritual warfare on the part of those we see who are suffering, and stepping out of our comfort zones to rescue people who are destroying themselves, are all a part of standing up to the chaos that's all around us. Let's all stop being so nice and passive - get mad and do some fighting back!

And the Award Goes To...

I love movies, I enjoy good acting, realistic dialogue, an unpredictable plot, a true message, interesting faces and voices and faraway places and all with a warm box of popcorn on my lap. Love it. i appreciate all the hard work, the research, the carefully selected wardrobe, the immaculate make-up, the hair-dos appropriate to the historical setting, the computer generated effects, the moving sound-track and the precision camera work. So nice of them to give me a couple hours of fantasy for a handful of dollars when I have nothing better to do.

But I always feel a bit like throwing up when I watch them cry and hold their hands over their hearts and "thank the Academy" for their golden statues, and act as if they were heroes to a thunderous standing ovation - like they had just rescued an entire country from a nuclear holocaust. They love congratulating themselves and honoring themselves and spending massive amounts of money on the most expensive wardrobes to celebrate how well they pretend to be other people. And we let them get away with it because it's such a part of our culture, what else can we do? We put the money in their pockets after all, and they do give us a heck of a show...

Meanwhile how about the ones who really do rescue people? Who is giving them golden statues and throwing giant parties, who is screaming out their names, just dying to get a glimpse of their face? Who has their teenage kids plastering the faces of these real heroes on their bedroom walls and wishing they could be just like them?

There are silent heroes all over the world, who pull people out of the pit of death, who rescue the suicidal, who heal, teach, give hope, inspire, and light the way to God Himself. You can tell who the real heroes are, because they couldn't care less about the recognition, the parties and the awards. They know that what is waiting for them, surpasses everything that Hollywood could ever offer - by far. So I guess we can let the pretty people have their statues. I'd rather hang around with the real heroes any day.

Overtalkers Annonymous

Ever had to deal with overtalkers?  They're the people who think that you want to hear everything they have to say, and can't take a hint that you stopped listening a few minutes ago?  I do a lot of counseling, and I'm aware that sometimes when people come to talk about their problems, they can't quite explain just what they're going through and they end up going around in circles a bit, trying to work things out in their minds.  That's fine, and sometimes that's the only way to sift through the confusion of feelings and thoughts to finally pinpoint what's wrong. But what I'm talking about are those people that are supposed to know what they're talking about; those who are supposed to have their answers already figured out before you came to them.  

"So how much time will it take before these ant colonies in my roof will disappear?" I ask the pest-control guy.

"Well, ya have to know the way these little guys think.  Studies have shown that ants are highly intelligent and can evade termination for long periods of time.  In fact there was a study in the University of Michigan...or was it Wisconsin?  No, no I think it was published in Ant World Monthly, I could get you a copy of it if you'd like, that described the mating habits of the New Guinea spotted wood ant, and you know ma'am, when you're an expert like me......

Meanwhile I'm standing at my front door with a plastic grin on my face, nodding every two seconds pretending to care and thinking,  "Will you just do your job and leave?!"  

It's really interesting being on the opposite side of the conversation when you're the one used to dishing out the advice and answering the questions.  The worst thing is to imagine that everyone else wants to hear ourselves talk, and that we already know what they want to hear even if they didn't ask. For those of you out there who spend a lot of time counseling in your churches or schools, beware of the plastic grin, the constantly nodding head, the glazed look in the eyes - you're boring the pants off of them, I guarantee.  Listen first, and think hard about what comes out of your mouth, and make sure it's what they're ready and need to hear. 

And guess what?  The ants magically disappeared, and I still haven't read a single journal on them.  Amazing.  

Eager Young Minds

I was a surprise when my mom found out that she was expecting me.  My parents already had two, a girl and a boy two years apart, she was close to 40 and hadn't planned on any more.  But five years after my brother was born, lo and behold, here I came!  Of course because of their ages, my two older siblings were closer to each other than either one was to me, and I was (and still am) the baby of the family. 

With busy parents who had spent most of their energy raising the first two, I spent a lot of time playing by myself, and I was always eager to be a part of the forbidden "big kids" world.  Yet every once in a while my brother, 5 years older than I, would take it upon himself to explain the world to me. Just things in general, stuff I didn't particularly ask about. He'd get a notion that he wanted to teach me about what he was learning in history class, and he'd launch into this fascinating explanation of life in the 1700's.  Or sometimes he'd tell me all about the life of spies (as if he really knew).  And though I couldn't understand much, the fact that someone cared enough to talk to me meant the world.

"You know Evelyn," he said once, "back in the days of the wild west, people weren't so concerned about taking baths all the time.  They would just do it on Sunday mornings before church and the rest of the week just wipe themselves down with a cloth."  I was amazed. "Look at how wasteful we are these days with modern showers and all these shampoos.  We're ruining the environment because we're too obsessed with bathing every day." It was a revelation.  The heavens parted and I saw the light and the error of my ways.  I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would only bathe once a week.

I didn't enjoy this new vow and I really missed a good scrubbing in my daily shower, but because of the kindness of my "mentor" who took the time to enlighten his little tag-along sister with his wisdom, I willingly endured my suffering to know that somehow I was benefitting the planet.  How being grimy and smelly made the world a better place, I wasn't too sure, but if my brother said so, then it had to be.

Needless to say, this didn't last long when my mother discovered that my hair was a mess and I was roundly scolded for what she thought was laziness.  I went back to my old routine of a shower every night, but I never got upset with my brother for giving me bad advice.  The kindness of his attention meant everything to me, and for that I was eternally grateful.  I have always had a special spot in my heart for my brother even though we barely see each other any more and we both have our own lives and families.  He cared and valued me when I felt like no one else did.

There are kids around us, just waiting for someone to take them under their wing and give them some kindness, attention and guidance  Sure there are the kids that don't want to learn from anyone (or at least they act that way) but there are plenty who may go unnoticed.  There are things in this world that are confusing to them and to have someone take the time to make sense of it all for their young minds, could make all the difference for their futures. 

Just make sure they take their baths.

Life is so unfair

"It's so unfair, the owners of this company are so rich, they should give us all a raise and better benefits.  It's like we're their slaves," said Danielle, complaining about the huge mega-mart she worked for as a cashier.  Her argument sounded so reasonable:  rich bosses rolling in money taking advantage of the underpaid and overworked laborers.  Of course she and all her co-workers deserved a raise, more vacation time, better health benefits and free childcare, of course they ought to go on strike!  Down with the establishment!

Only thing is, I know Danielle.  I know that she chose to drop out of school because she thought it was boring, that she has been fired from various jobs for various reasons: coming to work drunk, coming to work late, losing track of her sales slips, not coming to work at all - those are just some of the reasons.  I also met some of her co-workers.  The girls enjoy trashing their supervisor in late night gossip sessions over a couple of beers, just because he's uptight and wears ugly clothes and gets ketchup stuck in his mustache.  

Danielle says she has dreams of owning her own business someday.  When I asked her what business, she doesn't know, but she's sure she'd be a much better boss than the "jerk" she works for.  Danielle has never pushed herself to complete her high school degree, even when her mother helped her sign up for the adult education classes.  She sees her job as demanding, her customers as uncaring, herself as a hard worker who goes above and beyond the call of duty when she takes an extra shift for one of her friends (even though she gets paid extra), and her boss, well, we already know what Danielle thinks of him...

The news reporters were covering the upcoming strike and one of Danielle's friends was on TV.  You would think she was giving her life-blood for the store the way she spoke.  You would think they were chained to their cash registers and forced to scan every item that slid by on the conveyor belt under penalty of death.  And the journalist ate it up like the juiciest bit of news. Shame on this mega-mart for the exploitation of its workers!  She reported as a dozen Danielles stood by with their picket signs, nodding in righteous indignation.

Danielle couldn't ride out the strike - the administration took too long in negotiations and she eventually quit before almost all of her union's demands were met seven months later.  It was just getting boring, walking around in a circle with her protest sign day after day.  Anyway she was running out of money to party on weekends.  

She hates her new job, says no one wants to give her a chance to get a better salary.  Society is so unfair.  Thank goodness for the politicians who promise to invest tax money on initiatives to help the poor Danielles of this world.  Poor Danielle, uneducated, unmotivated, untrustworthy, undisciplined, and oh yes, she's pregnant.  How can society be so cruel?  Maybe someday when the rich educated elite stop oppressing her she'll have a chance to be successful.  Just maybe...