Little lambs in a hostile world

Sometimes Mark and I take a walk down to the playground nearby to kick around his soccer ball, and I wonder about the little children I see so often unsupervised. It's as if their parents just want them out of the house, and by the way they behave, you can tell that they don't get much attention inside the house either. But they're out there, an open target for anyone who would want to take advantage of these young lives, sad to say.

On the other hand, you can always tell who the children are that are well loved and cared for. They have their moms hovering around like helicopters, watching every move, shouting encouragement and praises when they reach the top of the slide, and warning them to remember to play nice with the others. They bring a pack of juice, and wet wipes for their hands, and an extra sweater, and keep a first aid kit in the car. They may look overprotective, but reality demands that if you want to be a good parent these days, you protect.

And then there were the little girls who were playing alone, one about 8 watching over her little sister of about 5. The other moms were asking each other who they belonged to, and ended up having to help the girls tie a shoe and reach the water fountain for a drink. Where was their mother, and why did she think it was safe to let them wander through the neighborhood alone? Doesn't she watch the evening news? We watched them walk off in the direction of what we hoped was their home, hand in hand, dirty and the smallest one crying because she had fallen and hurt herself. Two little defenseless lambs, so vulnerable.

The age for having children to help tend the farm and let them run wild through the fields when work is done, has long gone. The dangers for children generations ago lay mostly in diseases, hunger and the strain of hard labor. Today our children face the danger of people who would willingly commit violence against them. Thankfully there are still many good hearted and honest people who wouldn't dare hurt a child. But who are they and where are they, is not so easy to answer.

For those who want to have children, your job as their protector is a serious one. You are bringing them into a hostile world and if you are not prepared to fight for their safety, it would be better for you not to have them at all. For those of you who do have children, you have precious lives entrusted to you. Take good care that they make it through their childhood with their innocence intact.

The Gift of Intuition

Women are different than men. (I figured that one out some time ago, even though there are still a few who argue that it's all just a difference in bodily functions.) Women have a tendency to be more emotional in their responses than men, and to make emotionally based decisions, which like it or not, gets us into a lot of trouble and helps to perpetuate the idea that we are untrustworthy and unstable. Men on the other hand can much more easily make cold calculating decisions than we do, and there's a downside to that as well because they can get into trouble for being insensitive and thoughtless. We each have our strengths, and though following emotions can wreak havoc, there is something very positive to be said about them, if used the way God intended.

Across centuries and cultures, it has always been women who were the ones who nurtured and raised families, who were at the heart of the home. It has been women who were primarily blessed with the challenge of being the interpreter of baby talk, understanding the cries in the middle of the night that meant either fear, hunger, pain or a poopy diaper. Women have had to be the negotiators of toddlers who can't understand why they have to share, but do understand a well offered bribe of cookies if they behave well. Women have had to read the worried looks on their teenage daughter's faces, harvest information from their son's silent stares, offer love and support to their stressed-out husbands without appearing to be preachy or insulting, and have just the right kind of meal on the table to warm the hearts of the grumpiest household. Women have had to fine-tune the art of soothing and easing and uplifting the emotions of their families from generation to generation, so that we all could get on with the daily battles of life.

Men often deal with the obvious tangible problems that arise, and only after years of marriage to a wise woman, learn to look deeper. Women, on the other hand, are more tuned-in to problems that are brewing under the surface: the sadness, the fears, the unspoken pain, and are gifted with the ability to bring healing before anyone even realizes that healing is needed. Call it intuition, or sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, the world would be a very bleak place without this gift that women have.

Next time you feel like criticizing women for being too emotional, thank the Lord above that He made us this way!

Bozos and the Human Condition

I am on the brink of taking my washing machine repairman to court. I really don't want to have to do that, but if it's the only way to fix the damage he did to my property, then I'll do it. By the way if anyone needs repairs, DON'T use the Appliance Service Company run by Josh Cohen in Houston, Texas! They may fix your machines, but if they do anything wrong they'll squirm out of taking responsibility. I know, i've been trying to get them to keep their promise to fix their mess since January.

The problem isn't that they deny that they destroyed a patch of the concrete on my back porch, or that they are not polite to me over the phone and call me "Ma'am" and say their boss will get right back to me as soon as he's available. They've apologized, they've vowed that they have a good reputation for righting any wrongs they've done. They even sent the repairman Jason, back to look at what he'd done and promise to be back the next week to clean it up (it can't be cleaned, it has to be repaired). They're pleasant, courteous, and they lie through their teeth. Josh has only spoken to me once - though I've left literally dozens of messages for him over the last three months. Jason has never appeared to clean up the mess as he promised, breaking 3 different appointments that he had made. I've gone to the trouble of providing a very reasonable estimate from another company to fix the problem, and guess what? Just ten minutes ago I talked to one of the guys who answered the phone who told me, "Yeah, Josh is kinda busy right now, but he'll get right back to you as soon as possible." Translation-"Yeah, right lady, bug off, you ain't getting any money out of us!"

So now I'm in the uncomfortable place of having to file a legal complaint against these bozos and I don't like it one bit, but I like the bright six foot wide acid stain on my concrete even less. So unless the fear of God and hellfire and brimstone doesn't overtake Mr. Cohen to have a change of heart and pay me what is due (which I heartily pray for every day), I will have to see them in front of a judge in the county courthouse.

And now for the lesson of the day: We have all committed the sin of being a bozo - admit it, it's true. There have been too many times that we didn't want to own up to our mistakes, when we wouldn't make restoration for the harm we did to other people. If there was an easy way out of a problem, we'd take it, if we could just ignore it in the hopes that it would go away, we would. Human nature always wants a free ride, and when we can get it, we sigh in relief that we weren't caught. But when we are the ones who are harmed, we can be the most self righteous, condemning people on earth. I don't want to be either, because as much as I can't stand irresponsible people, I can neither stand people who look down their noses in superiority. So from one self-confessed (former) bozo to another: Josh Cohen, you're getting sued!

Who's the April Fool?

In my daily musings and observations, I run across a lot of conversations, bits of news and snatches of people's reactions - including my own, that show that we as a species are a ridiculous bunch of fools when it all comes down to it. It's not because we're not intelligent, it's not that we have no common sense, it's just that we so frequently go without using either.

Case in point: We live in this amazingly complex world where even the tiniest cell of a microscopic organism functions like a well organized kingdom, where the most common weed has a beauty of its own, and where new species are being discovered much to the surprise of scientists who thought they had it all figured out, and yet people still go around acting as if God is a crutch invented for weak people to lean on. Somehow it just so happens that the Earth spins on its axis at exactly the right distance from our sun with an atmosphere the perfect combination of oxygen, water and other elements to sustain life, and no other planet within millions of light-years away has been found that can do the same. Yeah, I guess they're right, no evidence to support the God theory...

And what about those of us who say we do believe in God? How about Mrs. C, a sweet church going lady who says she can't understand why God doesn't answer her prayers, had an opportunity to pull her small business way out of debt just recently. She prayed, we prayed, and God answered in the form of a client willing to invest with hard cash. But in the middle of the transaction, a glitch came up. A very annoying glitch, but one that could have been sorted out with a bit of determination and faith. But what did she do? She got angry with God and gave up, blaming Him the whole way. The investor flew back home on his private jet, leaving her just as much in debt as before.

The worst thing is that most people would look at this picture and blame God as well. Why couldn't He just make it go smoothly? Why did He let her down? Doesn't He care how much she needs this money? Our "common sense" when it comes to God can be so childish. Why don't we ask instead, "Why did she give up and not believe that God would make it go smoothly? Why did she let God and herself down? Doesn't she know how much God cares about her needs?" Sometimes the right questions and the right answers are right there, but we are just too foolish and self-centered to see them. The ones that see the miracles are the ones that get it, that fight for it, that don't let discouragement get in the way. Which is why so few people have ever seen a miracle, but then again, maybe miracles are just a crutch for weak people.

Get Mad - It's Good for You!

There are plenty of things going on in this world that should make us furious. From the young girls that are being sold into the sex trade by their own mothers in Iraq, (a 14 year old virgin can bring in over $30,000) and the rape victims in India who are stoned to death because they dishonored their family name, to the children who come to my church who have to endure the humiliation and abuse of drug addicted parents...The runaway teenage girl who ran straight into the arms of the boy in the youth group who was trying to straighten up his life and instead made her pregnant. It makes you want to shake some sense into people, doesn't it? But the most maddening thing is that too many people who claim to believe in God have come to the point where they shrug their shoulders and say, "Well, what else can we do?"

One of the best and most effective strategies of hell, is to make us all complacent. To stop getting angry and to just let things go. We may be shocked, wag our heads in disagreement and wish for the days when life was more innocent, but when all is said and done, the standards that we say we hold to, we can so easily let slide into the sewer.

I listened to Bristol Palin, the daughter of evangelical Christian Gov. Sarah Palin, giving what was supposed to be her heartfelt sentiments on teenage pregnancy in an interview on the news. "I'd love to [be] an advocate to prevent teen pregnancy because it's not, like, a situation that you would want to strive for, I guess," Bristol said. She told the interviewer that abstaining from sex before marriage is the best, "but not realistic at all." Thanks Bristol. Young women all over the country are so inspired - I guess.

Everything in her interview revolved around how tough things are on her: having to scale back on her teenage activities, stay awake late at night, and have to care for someone else. But what about the huge disservice she has done to this child, to have to grow up in a home without a mother and father who are in a committed, adult, marriage relationship? What about the damage done to the attitudes of young girls who hear her pathetic attempt to discourage teenage pregnancy with her confession that it's just unrealistic? If you're that wimpy about it, just stay home and say nothing - please!

Complacency. Claiming to believe in a right and wrong, but when it gets too tough to handle, just shrug your shoulders and do nothing. Don't fight, don't revolt, don't insist that life could be better. Just give up, it's so much easier.

Just writing this makes me mad, and that is a really good thing! If complacency is a strategy of hell, then a full-frontal spiritual attack is the only choice we have. Our prayers of spiritual warfare on the part of those we see who are suffering, and stepping out of our comfort zones to rescue people who are destroying themselves, are all a part of standing up to the chaos that's all around us. Let's all stop being so nice and passive - get mad and do some fighting back!

And the Award Goes To...

I love movies, I enjoy good acting, realistic dialogue, an unpredictable plot, a true message, interesting faces and voices and faraway places and all with a warm box of popcorn on my lap. Love it. i appreciate all the hard work, the research, the carefully selected wardrobe, the immaculate make-up, the hair-dos appropriate to the historical setting, the computer generated effects, the moving sound-track and the precision camera work. So nice of them to give me a couple hours of fantasy for a handful of dollars when I have nothing better to do.

But I always feel a bit like throwing up when I watch them cry and hold their hands over their hearts and "thank the Academy" for their golden statues, and act as if they were heroes to a thunderous standing ovation - like they had just rescued an entire country from a nuclear holocaust. They love congratulating themselves and honoring themselves and spending massive amounts of money on the most expensive wardrobes to celebrate how well they pretend to be other people. And we let them get away with it because it's such a part of our culture, what else can we do? We put the money in their pockets after all, and they do give us a heck of a show...

Meanwhile how about the ones who really do rescue people? Who is giving them golden statues and throwing giant parties, who is screaming out their names, just dying to get a glimpse of their face? Who has their teenage kids plastering the faces of these real heroes on their bedroom walls and wishing they could be just like them?

There are silent heroes all over the world, who pull people out of the pit of death, who rescue the suicidal, who heal, teach, give hope, inspire, and light the way to God Himself. You can tell who the real heroes are, because they couldn't care less about the recognition, the parties and the awards. They know that what is waiting for them, surpasses everything that Hollywood could ever offer - by far. So I guess we can let the pretty people have their statues. I'd rather hang around with the real heroes any day.

Overtalkers Annonymous

Ever had to deal with overtalkers?  They're the people who think that you want to hear everything they have to say, and can't take a hint that you stopped listening a few minutes ago?  I do a lot of counseling, and I'm aware that sometimes when people come to talk about their problems, they can't quite explain just what they're going through and they end up going around in circles a bit, trying to work things out in their minds.  That's fine, and sometimes that's the only way to sift through the confusion of feelings and thoughts to finally pinpoint what's wrong. But what I'm talking about are those people that are supposed to know what they're talking about; those who are supposed to have their answers already figured out before you came to them.  

"So how much time will it take before these ant colonies in my roof will disappear?" I ask the pest-control guy.

"Well, ya have to know the way these little guys think.  Studies have shown that ants are highly intelligent and can evade termination for long periods of time.  In fact there was a study in the University of Michigan...or was it Wisconsin?  No, no I think it was published in Ant World Monthly, I could get you a copy of it if you'd like, that described the mating habits of the New Guinea spotted wood ant, and you know ma'am, when you're an expert like me......

Meanwhile I'm standing at my front door with a plastic grin on my face, nodding every two seconds pretending to care and thinking,  "Will you just do your job and leave?!"  

It's really interesting being on the opposite side of the conversation when you're the one used to dishing out the advice and answering the questions.  The worst thing is to imagine that everyone else wants to hear ourselves talk, and that we already know what they want to hear even if they didn't ask. For those of you out there who spend a lot of time counseling in your churches or schools, beware of the plastic grin, the constantly nodding head, the glazed look in the eyes - you're boring the pants off of them, I guarantee.  Listen first, and think hard about what comes out of your mouth, and make sure it's what they're ready and need to hear. 

And guess what?  The ants magically disappeared, and I still haven't read a single journal on them.  Amazing.